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| Hmm.... its been a while..... I write on here for no reason
actually.... I mean nobody really reads it.....so I wonder how people
are doing... I mean theres my family that I never get to see much,
friends that live an hour away, it all goes so fast....
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| the other writing thing doesn't work and I"m bored so I wrote this little story thingy lol.......
God is your father.... for your birthday, he gave you a present called
life... now life is like this little toy that was there... you could
use your imagination to make it what you want it to be... of course its
your responsibility to keep it in good condition because dad's not
always going to be there to make sure its ok.... and yes sometimes you
will get bored of life, sometimes you may accidentally hurt yourself
using it, then blame the toy for it.. but it was you.... sometimes
people see it as this huge toy that has like all these cool gadgets and
stuff.... others see it as this little useless ornament that just
stands there.... either way... its up to oyu to see imagine what it
looks like andh ow you use it... because life has no form except the
one you give it..... of course you're not gonna make it what its going
to be just by sitting there, you have to do something baout it... and
of course dad's going to check up once in a while to make sure you're
doing ok....and of course there willl always be other kids that are
jealous of your toy and try to hurt you or steal it form you so that
they will be satisfied... but you protect your gift... and you should
also share like oyur mom always told you to do.... share your gift with
others... and help them make their toys look better to them.... and if
you don't, then you'll end up getting bored of your toy and just end up
trying to take everyone else's or break other's to make yourself feel
better... so just share your gift... and you don't know the day when
your gift will be lost or break down... so you have to have fun with
your toy while you can... you can't spend the hwole time trying to keep
it in good ocndition, you have to use it as well... just balance htings
out... and we all make mistakes, so don't go crazy when you
accidnetally do something to your toy, its okay to cry, but just move
on after.... just fix whats broken and keep going on, and even if you
can't fix it, still play with it because its sitll that same gift that
dad gave you.... and its yours until the day that dad comes back
and says.... cmon its time to grow up.......
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| Happy New years... well almost anyways...
The greatness of your life is only what you deem it to be...
Here commes the end of a story and the beginning of another one....
No I do not regret meeting the people I met because I learn from all of them...
I understand that there is no exact right way to live life because everyone is different.. the only way to live is to do what you want to do... and know that you will hurt people, you will make mistakes, ... whichever way it goes, just do it and do your best or else you will not be living life... the worst thing you can do is nothing...
"Whatever you do, or dream you can do, begin it." "Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it." - Goethe
Most of my fasmily probably doesn't know this, but I really love playing my guitar, and I will practice hard at it... I'm going to practice a lot harder now... haha they will probably find out soon seeing as how they all have xanga...oh well.. I do... and you'll see me making records one day lol..  | | |
| I feel really lucky.....
I feel lucky that somehow my life turned out so that I could learn all this crap....
I feel lucky to had to have changed schools so much that I figured out
how to tolerate people I don't like and how to get along with almost
anyone...
I feel lucky not having any childhood friends to start out with so that I could figure out a way to cope with loneliness...
I feel lucky that my dad was a drunkard so that I would have something
to remind me that I would never in a millions years want to grow up
that way...
I feel lucky that my mom had I was forced to help my mom work because
of her kidney problems so that I would learn discipline and not end up
growing up like those ignorant kids....
I feel lucky that I had to learn to be alone before I could make any
real friends so that I would understand just how much a real friend is
really worth....
I feel lucky to have gone out with the people I did because everytime I
learned something more about what love was and why I sucked so much at
it...
I feel so lucky that I was able to learn so much.....
I feel lucky to have experienced sadness so great that none other will bother me anymore...
I feel lucky to havce had so many chances to help people...
I feel lucky to have felt like I was nothing so that I can understand
that I really am nothing compared to everyone else in this world...
I feel lucky to know that at least somebody is having fun with their life...
I feel lucky to have been dumped so easily for somebody else so that I
can realize that you can't just rush into things because you might just
be wrong about how you htink the other person truly feels....
I feel lucky that I didn't have it easy so I could learn all this,
because without experiencing bad times, how can you know what good
times are?
How do you people not know that the problem isn't your
life......because your life will either suck or be good...you can't fix
that...instead why don't you fucking try to fix what you can? Try to
fix what you learn form it and how you look at it.....To most people
who read this, they'll probably think my life is shit, and you know
what? they're probably right....but I sitll get the last laugh because
all in all I know I learned from this and I know better than to treat
anyone like shit or to scream at somebody or to go out and do drugs and
make things worse...I know better than to kill myself or to stay mad at
people or to burden people with my life...no instead I'd rather just
fucking help everyone else because my life is already shitty doesn't
mean that others have to be shitty as well.........Nobody deserves a
good life this I know, but its better if they did anyways......God gave
me free will and a life, and since my life is bad, since I gave up on
life, the least I could do was pay him back for trying to help me
live....and the only way I know how is to help other people....so I'll
just keep living like this until I find somehting....
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| Happy thanksgiving!!!! (I copied this fomr another thing I wrote in lol)
This is the same exact day that the old Americans and Indians sat
together and ate....actually the funny thing is that they were eating
so much only because they had too much food andk new that it would
spoil through the winter if they did not eat it....
Anyways....What are you guys thankful for?
I
thank god for all he's done thats first and foremost because I mean
c'mon without him we'd probably all be screwed up right now lol....
I
am thankful for some of the things I have seen that prove to me that
there is still real kindness and unconditional love other than sex or
lust out there.....
I am thankful that whatever it was that inspired me to learn how to live instead of just being happy my whole life...
I
am thankful for all those little quesitons I asked to god that somehow
he answered shortly after I had asked...man...thats fast lol...
I
am thankful for my closely knit fmaily, for the people that thought of
me as a friend, for the people that showed me why we its not completely
pointless to live....
And the ironic part is that for all this, all I can say is thanks.... | | |
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